There is a lot potential for heartache with falling in love with someone before you see the real them.
When a couple quickly jumps into bed, and the sex is good, they can’t see who their partner for who they are. They may or may not be in love, but they are definitely infatuated. As the infatuation fades what’s left standing there is the actual person they are in love with. A person they hardly know and may not even like.
Sometimes, even though newness of it is gone, the sex may still be pretty good. Couples end up getting into fights realizing they aren’t happy with their partner for who they truly are but then they have some great sex (makeup sex!) and forget about it all for a while.
Maybe the passion doesn’t go away. There will come a time it’s no longer a priority. There is work and the kids and one’s own personal shit to work through. Eventually, we’ll have to deal with the person who is there in between the bouts of passion. Passion will get you the kids but not what’s going make a happy family or what’s going to make us good parents. “My daddy is an asshole but mommy says he’s dynamite in the sack, so I guess it’s ok.”
Another thing is, sometimes only one of the two, fall in love. Many many times I have gotten into a physical relationship with a woman where this happened. Typically, we got physical on the first or second date. The sex would be good, and our dates turned more into sexual meetings. Ugh, fine, booty calls! Eventually, she would develop feelings and hope that it would turn into a real relationship. It never did. I never really liked the person who wanted the relationship. I did, however, like the person with whom I was having sex. What an asshole. I have kept women hanging on by a thread for years at a time. The longest was for six years. She, by the way, also thought that passion was an indicator of a good relationship, so she passed up many potential mates over the years because there wasn’t passion between them as there was between us. Karma is a bitch, though, and one day the reverse happened to me. The experience has kept me in check ever since.
Credit : David Soto
When a couple quickly jumps into bed, and the sex is good, they can’t see who their partner for who they are. They may or may not be in love, but they are definitely infatuated. As the infatuation fades what’s left standing there is the actual person they are in love with. A person they hardly know and may not even like.
Sometimes, even though newness of it is gone, the sex may still be pretty good. Couples end up getting into fights realizing they aren’t happy with their partner for who they truly are but then they have some great sex (makeup sex!) and forget about it all for a while.
Maybe the passion doesn’t go away. There will come a time it’s no longer a priority. There is work and the kids and one’s own personal shit to work through. Eventually, we’ll have to deal with the person who is there in between the bouts of passion. Passion will get you the kids but not what’s going make a happy family or what’s going to make us good parents. “My daddy is an asshole but mommy says he’s dynamite in the sack, so I guess it’s ok.”
Another thing is, sometimes only one of the two, fall in love. Many many times I have gotten into a physical relationship with a woman where this happened. Typically, we got physical on the first or second date. The sex would be good, and our dates turned more into sexual meetings. Ugh, fine, booty calls! Eventually, she would develop feelings and hope that it would turn into a real relationship. It never did. I never really liked the person who wanted the relationship. I did, however, like the person with whom I was having sex. What an asshole. I have kept women hanging on by a thread for years at a time. The longest was for six years. She, by the way, also thought that passion was an indicator of a good relationship, so she passed up many potential mates over the years because there wasn’t passion between them as there was between us. Karma is a bitch, though, and one day the reverse happened to me. The experience has kept me in check ever since.
Credit : David Soto